A.M. Thoughts

January 18th, 2012 by Bill

Guys, you know what’s like, totally cray cray?! The weather in Ohio! Yesterday afternoon it was almost 60 degrees! Then it got really windy! THEN IT EVEN STARTED SNOWING! That’s pretty much what my Facebook and Twitter timelines looked like last night and this morning. So annoying. You’re not being insightful, people. EVERYONE knows the weather is unpredictable here. Come up with something original.

  • The Cavs lost 105-95 to the Warriors last night, mainly due to their 25 turnovers. If you ask me, it is due to Omri Casspi. His numbers weren’t all that bad (11 pts, 6 boards), but he’s either just not good at basketball or he’s playing scared. Kyrie Irving had a nice behind the back pass to him, and he nearly traveled before he awkwardly shoveled it back to Anderson Varejao. Then in the second half he had what could only be described as the ugliest attempt at a layup I’ve ever seen. He was approaching the basket straight on, slightly to the left. He then tries to convert around the defender with his right hand, and the ball hit nothing but the backboard to the right of the rim. It honestly looked like an uncoordinated 7th grader’s attempt. Oy.
  • The Indians avoided arbitration yesterday with Justin Masterson, Chris Perez, Shin-Soo Choo, Joe Smith, and Jack Hannahan. They all received nice raises. They’re still trying to work it out with Asdrubal Cabrera and Rafael Perez. I wouldn’t worry, the Tribe hasn’t gone to arbitration with a player since 1991. Pretty remarkable when you think about it.
  • In what seems like a terrible thing to say about a self conscious quarterback, Ed Reed told NBC Radio yesterday that Joe Flacco seemed “rattled” by the Texans defense, and he needs to perform better. Don’t get me wrong, what he said was true, but he’s talking about a guy who last week said he doesn’t get any credit when they win and all the blame when they lose. Uh, Joe, it’s because your team doesn’t win because of you, and it’s usually your poor play that causes you guys to lose. You’re Joe Flacco. You’re a rich man’s Derek Anderson. Stop thinking you’re Tom Brady.
  • So a guy from NFL Network said yesterday that the Browns really like Robert Griffin III, and would be prepared to move up a couple spots in the draft if they need to do so. Personally, I want the Browns to get RGIII. He literally has Olympic caliber speed. He throws the ball approximately 1,834 mph. He’s more talented than any Browns QB since they’ve come back. I know they might have to give up a lot to get him, but at some point you have to take a risk. DO IT BROWNS.

You know what you scum buckets should do? Follow me on Twitter. And while you’re at it, go ahead and add Tribal Pursuit on Facebook. That would be like, totally rad, you guys.

Also, what do you want me to write about? Give me some ideas in the comments.

A Crying Fan Is An Entertaining Fan

January 17th, 2012 by Bill

When I was in college, I had a roommate who was a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Awful, I know.

This dude wasn't my roommate. Equally as obnoxious though.

When the Steelers drafted Miami (OH) quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in the 2004 NFL Draft, my roommate became even more insufferable. Since we were attending Miami University, he felt like he identified with the team more (or something, I don’t really know. All I know is his Steeler-dom was exponentially worse).

Of course, the Steelers go 15-1 in Roethlisberger’s rookie season, and started a solid run in the playoffs. They beat the Jets in the Divisional Round (due to awful kicking/special teams by New York), making my roommate virtually certain they were going to the Super Bowl. I was DEATHLY afraid of this happening, because there was no frickin’ way he would be tolerable.

Then it happened, and I remember it like it was yesterday. The Patriots shellacked them in the AFC Championship Game. He had been out drinking all day, and dude was blacked out. He stumbles into my room IN TEARS. I had a pizza sitting on my coffee table, he falls into it, and grabs a slice. Then he tried to simultaneously eat the piece of pizza, cry, and tell me why it wasn’t fair the Steelers lost. And he’s saying this to a Browns fan. What an idiot. He kept trying to say “one for the thumb”, even as pepperoni, saliva, and chewed up pizza dough is falling out of his mouth.

And I couldn’t stop laughing. Don’t get me wrong, it was super uncomfortable, but it was HILARIOUS. I mean I’m going to laugh at any of my friends if they’re acting this pathetic because of an outcome of a sporting event, but the fact it was a Steeler fan made it that much better.

That’s how I feel Packers fans were feeling on Sunday. I had a bet with my fiancee’s cousin that the Giants would win. She’s a huge Packers fan, because she had a crush on Brett Favre when she was younger. Very good reason to become a fan, I know. Anyway, this is how I imagine she was feeling when the clock hit 0:00.

Note: This is NOT my fiancee’s cousin. But it would be great if it was.

Mid-Morning Thoughts

January 17th, 2012 by Bill

Here is a promise from me—I will make an honest and concerted effort to update Tribal Pursuit regularly. Have I done this before? Well, yes and no. In the past when I’ve “brought back” Tribal, I promised the moon. I’m not going to do that this time. But I am going to try. It might take me a couple weeks to get back in the groove, so bear with me.

With that, here are my mid-morning thoughts:

  • Are you kidding me with this rain? It’s January 17th. This is the time of year when I shouldn’t have to worry about the dog getting muddy as all hell when I let her outside. I shouldn’t have to worry about this garbage weather for AT LEAST a couple more months. But nooooooo, now she’s caked in eight pounds of mud every single time I go to bring her in. It’s the worst.
  • You know what else is the worst? Taking down Christmas trees. Ours is STILL up. I keep saying I’m going to take it down on the weekend, but then something better always comes up. I’m debating keeping it up until July and have a “Christmas in July” party, not have any guests over until Christmas, then take it down next New Year’s Day. Believe me, if I were still single, this would definitely be in the cards.
  • Actually, if I were still single, I probably wouldn’t have a Christmas tree at all. Unless it was one of those Charlie Brown ones.
  • The dirtbags that terrorize downtown Elyria are going to have to be a little more careful, because they’re installing surveillance cameras downtown! Sure, it’s long overdue, but at least it’s finally happening.
  • The Cavs are one of the best surprises of the young season, beating the Charlotte Bobcats 102-94 yesterday to bring their record back to .500 at 6-6. Just curious, where are all the people that were hoping for a Derrick Williams+Brandon Knight/Kemba Walker combination back in June?
  • My buddy Dan and I get our Super Bowl THE BIG GAME numbers this weekend, and we’re hoping to repeat our performance of last year. Are strikethrough jokes still funny? I don’t know, it’s been so long!

Oh yeah, the real reason I quit updating Tribal regularly? I had a crap keyboard. It was awful, but was too lazy to ask IT for a new one. Well I finally got one and it is AWESOME. It’s all wireless and stuff. It’s like I’m writing…FROM THE FUTURE.


A Letter To My Father

November 23rd, 2011 by Bill

One year ago today, I received call that my father had died. It was the worst day of my life. I have learned a lot in the past year, and figured out my father taught me more than I ever knew. Here is my letter to him.


Last Sunday, November 20th, the Browns beat the Jacksonville Jaguars at Cleveland Browns Stadium, 14-10. They even did it in dramatic fashion, with D’Qwell Jackson breaking up a pass in the end zone to secure the win.

Last year, on November 21st, the Browns lost to the Jacksonville Jaguars, 24-20. We were at the Train Station, and as me and my future fiancée were leaving, you were the happiest I had seen you in a couple years. Yes, you read that right. I saw Cooper Hudnutt at his absolute happiness after a Browns loss. Unfortunately, that would be the last time I would ever see you.

Going to Browns games just isn’t the same anymore. In fact, it isn’t even really a priority anymore. In years past, it would never cross my mind to even THINK about missing a Browns home game. I mean, why would it? I got to spend the entire day with you. You didn’t complain about how crappy the Browns were, you just loved to be there. And I loved being there with you. But anymore, it just doesn’t seem as urgent. I hate not being able to see you put all your essentials in your army green satchel that you’ve brought into every game since Brian Sipe was leading the team. I hate not seeing you with your lanyard with our tickets in it. And most of all, it’s really hard to sit in our seats without you next to me. I loved looking to my left and seeing you wearing your headphones from 1995. I loved the look in your eyes when they would score. Your whole demeanor on Sundays was reason enough to wake up for.

I miss you. It’s amazing how many things make me think of you each and every day. I pull into my spot every day at the Chronicle next to your old parking spot, which lays empty. I sit at your desk and think about the countless tough decisions you have had to make. I go to our golf league and think about how strange and awful it is to not have you there. And worst of all, I no longer have the ability to come to you and have a rational person talk me down when I’m fired up about something. I didn’t just lose my father, I lost my best friend.

Even though you aren’t with us any more, you’re with us in spirit. You have a BEAUTIFUL granddaughter, Avery Catherine, who is nothing short of perfection. I will be married to one of your favorites, Joey, in just nine months. And even though you may not have been the fondest of the English Mastiff, Max, he’s keeping a watchful eye over Mom.

This has been the most difficult and challenging year of my life, but I feel like I’ve learned a lot. And that’s because of you. You have prepared me to be the man I am today, and what you taught me has been invaluable. If I could tell you how important you were to not only me, our family, and our company, you probably wouldn’t believe me. You were the proverbial glue that kept everything together, and it amazes me everything you had to endure to keep things together.

I love you Dad, and I miss you more than I could ever put into words. You always think things are cliché until you’re the one actually saying it. This is definitely one of those cases. We miss you, we love you, and we’re constantly thinking about you.

Go Browns!

Morning Thoughts

September 13th, 2011 by Bill

I’m back! Again! Maybe it’s because the NFL is back, who knows. All I know is I’m bringing Tribal Pursuit back, for like the 90th time. What have I been doing? Actual work! I know! CRAZY! Also, I’ve been writing about “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. Pretty weird, but whatev. Let’s get to it.

  • Yeah, the Browns crapped the bed on Sunday. Personally, I think it’s because they’re wearing home whites for the first time since sometime in the 80s. It didn’t look right. Oh you think poor game planning and coaching lost the game for them? YOU’RE WRONG.
  • But there were some positives. Colt McCoy looked ok (he even completed a pass to himself!), D’Qwell Jackson was a beast, and Joe Haden played like an All-Pro. They really need to take advantage of Kerry Collins under center for the Colts this Sunday.
  • Hey did you guys know that the Indians are still playing? And they won last night! Remember back in May when we figured there was NO WAY they could blow that 8 game lead? Yeah, that was fun.
  • Former Indian and fertility drug enthusiast Manny Ramirez was arrested last night in Florida for domestic abuse. There’s really no joke to be said here. Just thought I’d relay the info.
  • Tom Brady threw for 517 yards last night, Wes Welker had a 99 yard touchdown, and the Patriots beat the Dolphins 38-24 in South Beach. In a completely unrelated note, Brady now endorses Ugg Boots. My fiancée loves those!

I was down on this before, but I watched it and it’s great. Rob Dyrdek’s “Ridiculosuness” is great. At first I thought it was super lame because he was straight stealing the entire idea behind “Tosh.0”, but Daniel Tosh is a diamondback and the show isn’t funny. Here’s a trailer for the show.

What else you guys wanna talk about today?

Early Afternoon Thoughts

May 9th, 2011 by Bill

I went to visit my sister and brother in law in New Jersey this weekend, and we went into New York City Saturday afternoon.  I don’t know if you guys knew this, but there’s A LOT of people there.  And they all dress funny.

  • The Tribe went 3-3 on their west coast road trip, and come home for a six game home stand.  I was watching the game with my dude Steve yesterday, and he and I both were amazed that the Angels hit two balls off the plate that combined to go 1,000 feet in the air.  Annoying.
  • Why the hell was Austin Kearns playing so shallow in the eighth, allowing Aybar’s hit to go over his head?  There were two outs, with runners on first and third.  Any ball hit to the outfield is gonna score the runner from third.  Only anything over your head will score the runner on first. 
  • The Lakers laid over and died in Dallas, and the Mavericks swept the Lakers in the Western Conference semis.  There’s really no excuse for Andrew Bynum’s flagrant on J.J. Barea.  Did he do it because the Mavericks were still hoisting threes with the game in hand?  It doesn’t matter.  There’s no room for that.
  • Rajon Rondo pulled a Willis Reed/Curt Schilling and came back to play in the third quarter after dislocating his elbow while getting tied up with Dwyane Wade.  The video is absolutely disgusting.  I’ll link to it, but I won’t post it, mainly because I don’t want to throw up.
  • Around this time last year is when the whole Delonte West-Gloria James rumor started.  Deadspin chronicles how that rumor came to be.  I’m still not sure if I believe it or not, but this story just doesn’t seem to go away.

Quick programming note:  I will still write Tribal Pursuit, but the updates may not be as frequent.  We started a new golf page on the CT’s website, The Missing Links.  I am writing for that page, and since there is revenue tied to the page, my focus has to go there first.  I will welcome anybody to write guest posts for Tribal, so if you’d like to write one just contact me at tribalpursuit@chroniclet.com.

Here is the press conference from Saturday night when LeBron James said something controversial.  How controversial it is, I really don’t know.

See Ya This Afternoon

May 5th, 2011 by Bill

Guh.  Day two of my tab key not working.  Thinking of ending it.  Anyway, I got a lot to do this morning so you won’t have your (semi) regular Morning Thoughts column.

I’ll be back this afternoon with an Afternoon Thoughts column.  Very imaginative name, I know!

Here’s Shin-Soo Choo’s DUI arrest video. 

Morning Thoughts

May 4th, 2011 by Bill

For some reason my tab key isn’t working on my keyboard.  You never really realize how much you use it until it’s gone.  Isn’t there a song about that or something?  You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone?  Whatever it is, that song writer was DEFINITELY about a tab key.

  • The Tribe have won seven straight, yet the only national publicity they’re getting is about Shin-Soo Choo’s DUI.  I fully realize I didn’t link to a national story.  HELLO!  Inbound links to networked websites helps your Google juice!  Yuck.  That sounded dirty.
  • From what I’ve read, Choo was pulled over after drinking at Mulligan’s in Avon (great place!).  He asked the police for directions to his house, then crossed over the yellow lines twice.
  • He blew a .201.  That’s about 2.5 times the legal limit of .08.  I imagine he was taking shots and saying something to the effect of “THIS HOW WE DO IN THE SOUTH” (Korea).
  • I used to really like reading Bill Simmons.  I’m not too high on him lately.  However, his “The Wire” NBA two part column from yesterday is a great read.  A lot of that probably has to do with the fact it incorporates “The Wire”.
  • I think the reason I’m growing tired of him is that he somehow throws the Celtics into all of his thoughts.  In the second part of his column, he talks about Brandon Roy’s ridiculous Game 4 performance.  Immediately after he ties that to a Larry Bird memory from the 80s.
  • The next Johan Santana (GWCS’s paraphrased words from 2006) pitched a no hitter last night.  I think I heard it was the 246th in MLB history.  Does that seem low to anybody else?
  • Apparently the White House is wishy-washy on the official story of bin Laden’s death.  You know what that means.  CONSPIRACY!  OBAMA IS TOTES A MUSLIM!  BIN LADEN HAS BEEN DEAD FOR MONTHS BUT ONLY RELEASED THE NEWS BECAUSE OF THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE PRESSURE!
  • I voted for Obama in 2008, and I can safely say I will not vote for him again in 2012.  Obviously I’m not as high on him as I was.  But let’s stop with the conspiracy theories.  Do people want bin Laden’s body set up in a public place like an art exhibit? 
  • We have all grown to distrust our government, no thanks to the internet, but sometimes they do the right thing.  If you ask me, that is the case here.

I know I’m a day late on this video, but this dude really does get lit up after running on the field at Fenway.

In Defense Of Scott Sargent

May 3rd, 2011 by Bill

Yesterday I was on Twitter, and I came across a tweet by Scott Sargent that linked to the following column:  “Bin Laden Obit Provides Eerie Notes Worth Mentioning”.

Before I go into my defense of Scott, let me get into a little background information.  A couple years ago, I was a finalist along with Scott in Fox Sports Ohio’s “Blog Sports Ohio” contest.  I came in super dead last, and Scott won the thing pretty handily.

What does that have to do with anything?  Nothing really, but that contest introduced me to Waiting For Next Year, the blog he started with a couple other guys.  I was somewhat bitter after I was twomped in the contest.  I felt that their site was pretty much paraphrasing Cleveland sports content from around the web, and their voice wasn’t “bloggy”. 

I was wrong.

You really don’t realize how much goes into writing and maintaining a blog until you actually have to do it.  Each of the guys at WFNY must spend close to ten hours a week keeping that thing fresh, and that’s outside of whatever they do for a living.  Probably more than that.  That’s incredibly difficult to do, and their work clearly shows.  They write original content that often delves further into Cleveland sports than just box scores and recaps.

What I’m getting at is that WFNY has earned the right to speak their mind a bit.  Scott has over 3,000 followers on Twitter, so obviously people care what he has to say, right?

Read the rest of this entry »

A.M. Thoughts

May 2nd, 2011 by Bill

I am not sure what is crazier…that the military finally found and killed Osama Bin Laden or that a guy was unknowingly live tweeting it the whole time.  Since I’m clearly not qualified to write about something so historic such as this, I’m just going to congratulate the military and the Bush and Obama administrations for getting the job done.

  • After sweeping the Tigers over the weekend, the Tribe have won 13 straight at home and got their fifth sweep of the young season.  They had four sweeps all of last year.  Is it just me, or does four sweeps in 2010 seem like a lot for that garbage team?
  • The best thing about the Indians right now?  They’re confident.  Confidence is key to have in any sport, and this is one of the cases where a youthful team is a huge asset.  Who are the most confident people in the world?  Young men.  Sure, you see most of them downtown and they’re d-bags, but they are confident.  I know that’s not the best comparison, but if our young players keep up their confidence, they’re going to keep ballin’.  Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.  But that’s where good coaching comes in.
  • I would really like to see Travis Hafner back in the lineup.  It’s a little concerning that he’s in a walking boot, but luckily his teammates are picking up the slack.
  • Hey, everybody…go to the games.  It’s a lot of fun right now.  I went with three buddies Saturday night, and we bought $8 tickets, walked in the stadium, and ended up sitting in the first row of the upper deck.  You can’t beat it.
  • The Heat beat the Celtics in a chippy game one of the Eastern Conference Semifinals yesterday.  I really don’t have an opinion about this right now.  I haven’t been less interested in the NBA playoffs since probably high school.
  • Except for the Memphis Grizzlies.  I’m paying attention to them.  I’m not saying I’m jumping on the bandwagon or anything, but it’s cool to see this team come together and do what they’re doing.  All of this without Rudy Gay as well.

I’ll leave you with a little blurb about Grady Sizemore from my dude Steve.  He emailed this to met his morning, and it’s pretty incredible.

Grady Sizemore’s comeback continues to exceed expectations: with a double, he now has THREE TIMES as many EXTRA-base hits as SINGLES.  He is hitting .390, so this is not insignificant.  He has as many homers as singles and twice as many doubles as homers.  His homer also went close to dead center, so these are not simple pure-pull guess jobs.  He is hitting extraordinarily well.  His SLG is EIGHT SEVENTY-EIGHT.  His ISO (isolated power, which is SLG – AVG) of .498 is higher than the raw SLG of Choo, Santana, and Matt LaPorta.  It is fifteen points lower than Al Escobar’s OPS.  That’s just absurd.  He is tied for the team lead in homers.  He has played in 10 games.  The other players have played in 21, 20, 24, and 24 games.

I’m back this week.  Let’s get weird.



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