That is a text message I sent my girlfriend yesterday at 1:57 PM, while I was sitting at the bar at Houlihan’s in South Park mall in Strongsville.

I look over to my left, and I could’ve swore Manny Acta was sitting there drinking a Bud Light.

image (image via)

In hindsight, there a couple things that probably led my brain to believe Mr. Acta was sitting next to me:

  • He was wearing an Indians windbreaker
  • I was in Strongsville, a suburb where Cleveland athletes/coaches may live
  • He was bald, like Manny Acta

image (image via)

Being as creepy stealthy as I can, I try to pull up a picture of Acta on my phone, and seeing as though the resolution on my screen isn’t exactly high-def, anything resembling Manny Acta would suffice.

Check.

So I have a bald guy in an Indians coat in a city where he may live.  Has to be him right?

How could I figure this out without asking him?

Then it dawned on me.  I had to hear him talk.  I remember in his press conference he had a Hispanic accent.  Perfect.

He gets a menu from the bartender, but I can’t hear his voice, and at this point it is starting to get to me.  JUST ORDER LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING I NEED TO KNOW IF I AM GOING TO ASK YOU FOR AN AUTOGRAPH OR NOT. 

I then think if I should take a stalker-ish picture with my phone, then ask others if they thought it was him, when the following two things came to mind.

  1. What if he hears the stupid fake camera noise my phone makes (why they do this, I’ll never know), and
  2. What if it isn’t him, a situation in which would be even more embarrassing than if it were, and I’d have to explain to just a normal bald guy in an Indians coat why some creepazoid is taking a picture of him on a Sunday afternoon.

Thank all that is good I heard the man talk, and unless he can completely change his voice, it was not him.

Yes, that is how big of a loser I am, and all of this took place over the course of about a half hour.

I texted my girlfriend back:

“I don’t think it’s him.  I heard him talk and he doesn’t have an accent.  Plus he’s wearing an Indians coat, I think that skewed my judgement”

She responds:

“So the 95% is out the window”.

To which I respond:

“Yes, at this point I’m 99% sure it’s NOT Manny Acta.”

And that’s my story about how I thought I was sitting next to Manny Acta on NFL Championship Sunday.

Mr. Acta, if that in fact was you, email me at tribalpursuit@chroniclet.com.  I promise I’m not a psychopath.

One Response to ““I’m about 95% certain the Cleveland Indians manager is sitting next to me””

  1. If you had bought a Bud Light you could have saved all the thinking and texing and just ask him.What were you doing at a bar in Strongsville @1:57 ? OH that is right you live there

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