Other than the Cavs obliterating the Clippers yesterday (with some record setting performances), nothing real exciting happened in sports, in my opinion.
(image via)
Mike over at Chronic Dawgs is training for the Cleveland Marathon. With the lack of breaking Browns news, he is documenting his training leading up to the race.
Personally, I think running is boring. I need to be doing something else while running, like playing basketball. Running is mundane.
Why anyone would want to run a marathon is beyond me, but obviously there are tons of people who do them. I figured it would be fun to pick at his entries in a complete juvenile fashion. If you guys like it, I’ll keep doing it. I’ll probably do it if you hate it too, because I really don’t care.
This particular post he put up is from the second day of his third week of training, his excerpts are bolded.
I’ve been a little too careless with what I’ve been eating lately because I figure the training will make up for it, but I’ve got to say that there will be no more lunch buffets in my future. Yuck, I feel sick again just thinking about it.
Was this sentence written by a 27 year old man, or a self conscious woman who becomes physically ill when she thinks about what she had for lunch?
Ever since the first week of training, I’ve been being very cautious on the treadmill because I’m afraid my leg will start hurting again, or some other ailment
His leg hurts whenever he partakes in strenuous physical activities, so naturally running 26.2 miles is a fantastic idea.
Then I did some calculations in my head. If I was able to run the entire marathon at 7 mph, I’d clock in at 3 hours and 43 minutes, which would be good enough to qualify for Boston.
I can do math and run at the same time! If I keep this pace I will earn the right to travel 700 miles to run 26.2 miles in Boston! Also, I highly doubt he did those calculations in his head.
At this point I can run 7 mph for one mile, not 26, and certainly not over hills. But whatever, it was a fun thought.
Yes, Mike. Very fun thought. Riveting.
Remember what I said before about not watching comedies while I run? How laughing your ass off on the treadmill is definitely not a good idea? Well I’ve been following my own advice until last night.
His body can’t handle running and a “Two And A Half Men” marathon. But he’s not afraid to break the rules!
I somehow failed to realize just how much of a comedy the movie “Hackers” is. If you have seen the movie from the mid-nineties, you probably love it, but only if you saw it years ago for the first time. I can’t imagine anyone seeing it today and thinking it was a good movie. This was the movie I decided I’d watch while running. Oops! I can already quote the entire movie from start to finish, but now I can’t help but laugh at how awful the movie actually is. There were moments when I almost fell off the back of the treadmill because I was laughing at how cheesy the movie lines are. And now… I’ll be quoting the movie all day.
“Hackers” is a great movie, and I believe it has held up well over time. He also failed to realize that even though he has every line memorized, he didn’t realize the movie was cheesy. For the record, I don’t know one person who didn’t love “Hackers”.
I’m definitely the type of person who likes new toys.
When taken out of context, this is a very creepy statement.
First I bought the treadmill, then I bought new shoes, and now I’m going to by a GPS watch.
For the record: treadmills, shoes, and a GPS watch don’t fall under the category “Toys” by any stretch of the imagination.
This way I’ll be able to accurately measure how far I’ve run when I’m outside and I don’t have to guesstimate by what the mile markers say, when there are mile markers.
You typically know how long a trail is, so it’s not exactly rocket science to figure out how far you ran. And please, don’t use the word “guesstimate” again.
I know that the park by Midway Mall, Bur Oak, has markers every half mile, but there are a couple that are way too close together and it throws off the mileage for the entire run.
So the trail has markers every half mile, but the half mile markers are not necessarily distanced a half mile from each other? Mike, the distance between the markers is a half mile. And since your mental math skills are so refined, figuring out how far 10 miles is on this trail should be child’s play for a mind as grand as yours.
I have to run 10 miles on Saturday and I want to know that I’ve actually gone that far.
Run past 20 half mile markers.
Anyway, I can’t wait to use the GPS watch, so that might be enough motivation to get me out in the cold.
It is every man’s dream to use a GPS watch. It’s a day I’ll never forget.
I think I’m also starting to like the Asics I bought.
So does every other 60 year old.
I didn’t have the same aches I had when I initially ran in them and everything felt good. Still though, I don’t know if I want to run 10 miles in them tomorrow.
My new shoes are extremely comfortable and easy to run in, but I don’t know if I want to run in them!
I’ll probably give it a shot just because I think running 10 miles in my other shoes will be counter productive.
No. The level of production stays the same. You’re running 10 miles. You’re just not wearing your new shoes. That has nothing to do with production. What was counter productive was your trip to the mall to buy the shoes since you refuse to wear them now.
Well that’s all for this post, I’m sure he’ll be showing up here to defend himself. If I’ve learned one thing, his mind works in mysterious ways, and it is hilarious.
Mike N
February 1st, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Yep, I’m training for a marathon and you can read about it at chronicdawgs.northcoastnow.com.
Make fun of my posts as much as you want. I’m not going to stop writing them. But seriously, can you do a better job at ripping them apart? This attempt was weak! I could do a better job ripping apart your posts if they actually had some content to them. Unfortunately they don’t, they’re just quick little blurbs about something someone else did.
Bill
February 1st, 2010 at 1:21 pm
I’m providing glorious content, and feel free to rip my posts to threads as you see fit.
One question…are they Asics Gels, like the rest of the geriatric population wears?