As was expected in the “Summer of LeBron”, every city with a realistic chance of landing James is pulling out all the stops with their recruitment tactics.

The latest?  New York celebrities reaching out to LeBron, since, let’s be honest, that’s really all the city (and the Knicks) can offer to him.

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Let’s go through the list of celebs who are reported to be on their panel, and what they potentially could offer LeBron.  Here we will evaluate the potential persuasion powers of Donald Trump, Spike Lee, Chris Rock, Alec Baldwin, and Boomer Esiason.  Wait…what?

Donald Trump

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We all know that money is very important to LeBron.  He wants to be a “global icon”, and strives to be the first billionaire athlete.  The Donald could surely give him sound financial advice, and probably a penthouse in Manhattan.  He probably has the most power in the “New York Summit of Whoring Out Your Celebrity for LeBron”.  At least that’s what I assume it is called.

Spike Lee

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What could Spike Lee offer LeBron?  Unconditional support from center court at MSG?  Yes.  His directorial skills are his ace in the hole.  The Mars Blackmon/Michael Jordan commercials are some of Nike’s finest, and Lee’s spin on “The LeBron’s” could even top those.  Casting LeBron as the lead in a feature film could also boost his visibility. 

Chris Rock

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I’m not sure what Rock could offer LeBron, other than being a hilarious addition to his entourage.  Maybe he can team up with Spike Lee in the new commercials?  Coach LeBron into being the first big time NBA athlete to crossover into stand up comedy?  This is where the power on the consortium really starts to nosedive.

Alec Baldwin

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I’m not sure how Alec Baldwin could help LeBron sign with the Knicks.  Does he give him a recurring role on “30 Rock”?  Hmmm.  If I were LeBron, I’d just have him in his character from “The Departed” 24/7.  He’s great in that movie.

Boomer Esiason

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WTF?  Boomer freakin’ Esiason?  What the hell does he have to offer LeBron James?  Is there something the public doesn’t know about?  Is he the white Worldwide Wes?  If you ask me, he’s just a left handed Bernie Kosar.  And I’d much rather hang out with Bernie than Boomer.  How the hell was “Bernie and Boomer” not some kind of low budget cop buddy movie along the lines of “Masters of the Gridiron”?

That’s all I got for now.  Leave me what Cleveland celebrities you think should form a summit to keep LeBron with the Cavaliers, and I’d be more than happy to lend my thoughts as to how they’d help convince LeBron to stay.

One Response to “What Can These New York Celebrities Offer LeBron?”

  1. You forgot Mayor Bloomberg, surely he’s worthy of some comic verbage! That said, the King is Coming!

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